Thursday, June 12, 2014

Something Something Heros part 2

Previous: part 1

The room is 10 foot by 10 foot square.  There is a pie on a pedestal in the center.  "I take the pie!" they all three shouted in unison.  The Orc that had been guarding it moved to stop them.

"Wait, no one said anything about an Orc being in this room," declared Rylie, a squat, mud-covered man, clothed in what had once been expensive leather armor.

"Try telling that to him," whined Nealoo the priest of Alilili while dodging the hacks and slashes of Schrodinger's Orc.  Her once pristine white robes swirling as she danced here and there. "I never thought I'd miss Agthor the Meat shield."

"Ah the GM's a dick," Rylie mumbled with a frown.

Thobis crossed his arms and sneered at the Orc standing between them and the pie, "Why is there an Orc guarding a pie in this tiny room anyway?  This adventure is getting worse all the time."

With a wave of his hand and some muttering of the half remembered lyrics to a Led Zeppelin song, Thobis cast a spell.  No one was sure what spell had been cast at first.  The fact that he had actually cast something was certain even though there was no obvious effect.  Even the Orc stopped and looked around for some sign as to what it was.

Thobis giggled, and with a smirk asked, "Hey Orc, what's your name?"  The Orc pointed at himself in disbelief that he was being addressed.  "Yeah, you," said Thobis.  "You look like an, uh, intelligent fellow."  Thobis leaned over to his two companions and gave them an over obvious wink, while the Orc tried to come to terms with suddenly not wanting to kill this annoying jerk.

"Me, Transk.  I mean, I'm Transk," said the Orc slowly working over the half remembered words from Human language 101.  Somehow this weird wizard seemed like his best friend in the world.  Yet, there was something still bothering him.  He remembered the not-spell that was maybe cast and asked, "Why did you try and take my pie then, if we're friends?"  The Orc scratched his head while coming to terms with actually having thoughts.  Wasn't he just supposed to just guard the pie?

Thobis pressed on, "Look here Transk, old buddy. I've got a fierce case of the munchies. If I don't get a piece of that pie soon I might just lose my mind."  Sensing the lingering reluctance of the once fierce Orc, he added, "I'd bet you'd like a slice too huh?  Finally see if it was worth guarding all this time, eh?  That smell has got to be driving you crazy!"  Thobis chuckled and rubbed his hands together in sheer delight.  He was pleased as punch and now he would have some pie too!

Rylie and Nealoo the priest of Alilili glanced at each other and rolled their eyes around until they were looking at each other again.  Rylie began edging slowly around behind Transk, who was sniffing the air and realizing how good the pie really did smell.  Transk realized his mouth was watering at the smell of the pie.  "Ok, you and me will split the pie, but those other dorks can't have any," Transk turned around towards the pie.  This was it, he was finally going to eat the pie that he had been guarding in the this small room for so long!  He could practically taste it already.

Instead he found himself facing the weird muddy twerp, who was holding a knife.  Transk roared, "I said you two couldn't have any pie!  It's just for me and my best friend."  Thobis grinned at that, and he and Transk high-fived.  That was when Rylie drove the knife into Transk's back.

As Transk lay bleeding on the ground, the spell dissipated. Transk's final view was the human, who had only moments before been his best friend, stepping casually over his corpse on his way to eat some his pie.

Nealoo the priest of Alilili turned down the offered pie.  "Too fattening," she declared.  "Alilili can have mine," with that she threw her piece on the ground.  "Praise Alilili to the Ground!" she shouted.

"Now what," asked Rylie.  "Did we just come here for the pie? I bet I could have found some that required less murder."  He harrumphed.  He felt like he was going to be doing a lot of that.

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